tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post7991747949495399231..comments2023-09-07T11:05:17.339-04:00Comments on Ravenstone's Reflections: Virginity: What is it Good For?Desmond Ravenstonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731355272768955344noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-22820499309114489072011-03-18T23:10:41.998-04:002011-03-18T23:10:41.998-04:00The hymen, while I do understand the significance,...<i>The hymen, while I do understand the significance, don't seem like a big deal to me.</i><br /><br />And just what is the "significance"? Some women don't have a hymen, or it becomes perforated by non-sexual means. It's time we discern emotional maturity and empathy as more important than the state of a membrane with little or no function.Desmond Ravenstonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731355272768955344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-50443209176674633242011-03-18T22:35:43.727-04:002011-03-18T22:35:43.727-04:00What's the big deal about people needing to lo...What's the big deal about people needing to loose their virginity. Too many people are obsessed over sex - people who are getting it, and people who wish they were getting it. There are many Virgins on Fetlife even who wish they could get rid of their virginity. Personally I don't get the obsession either way. If I feel like doing it, I'll do it, or else I wont. The hymen, while I do understand the significance, don't seem like a big deal to me. I heard that it can break any number of ways that don't even have to do with anything sexual.TheresaEmilyAnnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-82285270760476343842011-01-23T18:39:37.229-05:002011-01-23T18:39:37.229-05:00Another example of how irrational the fixation on ...Another example of how irrational the fixation on hymens is: So many hymens are ruptured as the result of non-sexual circumstances, like riding a horse.<br /><br />Some have actually advocated a simple procedure to cut a young woman's hymen as she began puberty, to avoid the pain involved with a rupture. Perhaps if this were offered more widely, it might lead to a change in the culture.Desmond Ravenstonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731355272768955344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-46399896954545444032011-01-23T09:47:38.068-05:002011-01-23T09:47:38.068-05:00Desmond - you're right that much of the virgin...Desmond - you're right that much of the virginity fetish comes from very old patriarchal attitudes about sexuality and women being "property" and males wanting to ensure that their children are really their own.<br /><br />I don't think that most of this "hymen fetish" is healthy. Given the wide-spread acceptance of it, it's not a kink that can be chosen voluntarily. Social and cultural pressure have added some non-consensuality to this kink.<br /><br />I also don't think that it's rational in any sense either (not that we should expect it be so).<br /><br />For the cultures that value an unbroken hymen on the wedding night, the biggest threat to maintaining that value is simple, low-cost, and over-the-counter "artificial hymen" that doesn't require a plastic surgeon to reacquire virginal status.<br /><br />"Gadget to help women feign virginity angers many in Egypt"<br />http://articles.latimes.com/2009/oct/07/world/fg-fake-hymen7Steve Caldwellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12333184436301854794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-53387277047752241662011-01-23T08:40:39.270-05:002011-01-23T08:40:39.270-05:00@Steve: I can see where some folks may have a feti...@Steve: I can see where some folks may have a fetish about virginity and hymens -- but this is different from prevalent cultural attitudes towards the same.<br /><br />In the kink community, we recognize fetishes as strong personal preferences. We don't attach any moral judgment to them. If someone likes feet, that's simply what brings <i>them</i> pleasure and we're happy to create space for them.<br /><br />The predominant culture, however, still places a moralistic value on virginity and virgins, especially if you're female. You're somehow valued more for "waiting for Mister Right" than for embracing your sexuality and finding positive ways to experience it.<br /><br />Our culture's fixation with virginity is a relic from the days when women were regarded as property, and a woman with a ruptured hymen considered "damaged goods." And I don't see how hanging onto it has done women and society much good.Desmond Ravenstonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731355272768955344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-61476503190506286132011-01-23T00:04:50.868-05:002011-01-23T00:04:50.868-05:00Desmond - you're assuming that any fetish can ...Desmond - you're assuming that any fetish can be explained "rationally." That may not be the case.<br /><br />And the cultural fixation on virginity and hymens can be viewed as a fetish using the dictionary meaning that can be found in the dictionary that comes with Ubuntu:<br /><br />"Any object to which one is excessively devoted"Steve Caldwellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12333184436301854794noreply@blogger.com