tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post3948148581555196421..comments2023-09-07T11:05:17.339-04:00Comments on Ravenstone's Reflections: Is Being Kinky a Sexual Orientation?Desmond Ravenstonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11731355272768955344noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-26689454023140088012011-12-19T00:18:05.495-05:002011-12-19T00:18:05.495-05:00For me, being submissive / masochistic is definite...For me, being submissive / masochistic is definitely a sexual orientation. I need these kinds of things in my sexual experiences, or I am largely unsatisfied. <br /><br />I also do not find men physically attractive. However, I will have sex with them, if they appeal to my submissive nature.<br /><br />If my need for BDSM was not a factor, I would likely identify as a lesbian. The fact that this can trump my tendency towards homosexuality indicates to me that being kinky is a sexual orientation, as strong as straight / gay / bisexual / etc is for vanilla folks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-54730428799757861502011-05-16T21:15:29.102-04:002011-05-16T21:15:29.102-04:00c4bl3fl4m3 - I really agree with you on this one. ...c4bl3fl4m3 - I really agree with you on this one. I identify as a gay male, but I'm open to kinky play with women.<br /><br />Generally, if it isn't kinky I'm not quite interested in it. Vanilla sex literally bores me. (seriously, there are other things I'd rather be doing, including balancing my checkbook.)Nicholas Barnardhttp://www.inmff.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-47972099159452537732011-05-16T18:09:18.424-04:002011-05-16T18:09:18.424-04:00I've always thought that kink is an orientatio...I've always thought that kink is an orientation... for some people. For some, kink (or fetish) defines their sexual interactions and their sexual desires, sometimes even more than what gender their partners are. For others, it's just a fun thing to do sometimes. There's no reason that for the former, it's an orientation and for the latter, it's just an action. (It's a lot like someone who HAS to have sex with a certain gender vs. someone to whom gender is irrelevant in their partner choice... except for the fact that we have an orientation label for the latter [bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual/queer/whateverhaveyou].)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-73241286407869631712011-04-08T07:23:36.648-04:002011-04-08T07:23:36.648-04:00I think both of you are oversimplifying the concep...I think both of you are oversimplifying the concept of orientation. It is not strictly genetic, nor is it regidly determininistic.<br /><br />Also, for those who oppose any form of non-normative sexuality, it wouldn't matter if you said they were diseases or choices -- they would still find a way to condemn them. "For those who believe, no proof is necessary; for those who do not, no proof is possible."<br /><br />The issue is whether the erotic aspect of our selves can be that simplified. If it can't, then how does it make sense to justify treating those who are different as second-class citizens?Desmond Ravenstonehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11731355272768955344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-89515958743598589562011-04-08T06:50:37.105-04:002011-04-08T06:50:37.105-04:00I've always held that it was a mistake to even...I've always held that it was a mistake to even enter the is-orientation-genetic debate, because it implies that the church or the state has the right to control your choices if they're NOT genetic. I say it doesn't matter to anyone but a biologist- my home is my castle, and you're not going to tell me what I can do there!Joel Monkahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10631333436948102576noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3503759181402329376.post-27960257309041768022011-04-07T23:55:34.434-04:002011-04-07T23:55:34.434-04:00It's my view that as tempting as it may be to ...It's my view that as tempting as it may be to use the tactic of claiming kink as some sort of innate orientation, the temptation should be resisted. "I can't help it I was born this way" conceptions of human behavior end up being limiting and are prone to attack by the medical establishment. People are still looking for the "gay gene" and I fear for the "cure" that may follow. I would rather that the state stay out of the bedroom of competent consenting adults. I would rather the obsessive controlling of non-procreative sexual behavior be critiqued.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com